addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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