my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
