shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
