Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
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im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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