It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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