just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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