We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
