if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
