Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm too high and old for this...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
