Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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