They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
