Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think your dad took our porno
Randomize
