You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
