U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
