I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
