we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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