I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
