i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
