I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize