So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
