Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
