I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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