I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
