I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
