drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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