the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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