I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
