I heard we made out
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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