He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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