Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
