Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
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E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
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All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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