i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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