Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
