Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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