someone threw a dead crab at me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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