After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
