So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
