I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize