i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
