I wish I only lived at night.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
