is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
