my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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