I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
