was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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