The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
