My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
