anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
