Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?

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(516): View more from New York

Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

There are so many Jimmy John's employees here

(1-512): View more from Texas

Where are you?

(512): View more from Texas

Jimmy John's.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment

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(903): View more from Texas

Really need a jack off emoji

(903): View more from Texas

Who do we write to about that?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.

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