Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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  (949): i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit http://tfl.nu/gr8g
  Replies (13) Good night (3234) Bad night (1045)
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  (951): View more from California

  Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down

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  (951): Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down http://tfl.nu/e7px
  Replies (16) Good night (801) Bad night (1093)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.

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  (402): She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time. http://tfl.nu/nker
  Replies (9) Good night (5096) Bad night (1089)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.

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  (+44): Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here. http://tfl.nu/0a2t
  Replies (7) Good night (2474) Bad night (970)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.

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  (920): He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer. http://tfl.nu/1gb8
  Replies (1) Good night (1708) Bad night (855)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Thanks bro

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  (319): Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement? (1-319): Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice. (319): Thanks bro http://tfl.nu/7e10
  Replies (9) Good night (967) Bad night (1679)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.

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  (832): Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think. http://tfl.nu/5pb2
  Replies (9) Good night (1673) Bad night (690)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.

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  (609): That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night. http://tfl.nu/lop5
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (1110)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.

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  (651): dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/gquq
  Replies (5) Good night (1569) Bad night (598)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.

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  (850): I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this. http://tfl.nu/urhy
  Replies (2) Good night (1166) Bad night (511)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?

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  (410): What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots? http://tfl.nu/z5fp
  Replies (6) Good night (1176) Bad night (509)
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  (562): View more from California

  I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"

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  (562): I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??" http://tfl.nu/7nog
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (425)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.

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  (616): I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers. http://tfl.nu/1m5q
  Replies (0) Good night (582) Bad night (332)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea

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  (609): I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea http://tfl.nu/yi5k
  Replies (2) Good night (379) Bad night (379)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans

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  (443): Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans http://tfl.nu/4sr3
  Replies (0) Good night (419) Bad night (196)

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