Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
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i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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