It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
