Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
