just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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