This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
