Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
