he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
