i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
