That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
