I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize