I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
