I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
