An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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