From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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