Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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